!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> Jen's Dirty Thirties

the big "O" and other fecal matter

2006-06-15 / 1:58 p.m.
big surprise, i didn't get the job. but here's the REAL surprise: they essentially created a position for me--Life Skills Instructor. the position starts in august, and i'll work M-F 40 hours a week, and never have to work a graveyard shift again. i'll be my own department and won't have to compete with the ol' cronies for time off. i won't get a pay increase yet, as once a county budget is established for the fiscal year it's virtually impossible to make revisions. so, i'll have to wait for a raise in october. that's the only part that sucks.

i'll be responsible for teaching the kiddies street smart stuff that will hopefully reduce the recitivism rate. yeah, right. probation is a business and NOT meant to reform anyone. granted, i'm one of those bleeding heart liberals that is hoping to at least plant the seed of hope into these kids. my evil plan is already set in motion: each day will be themed with a different life skill. mondays= social skills, tuesday=job development, wednesday= street smarts, thursday= more job skills-(how to keep a job), and fridays will be devoted to hobbies and crafts. i figure H/C is a legitimate contribution because most of the kids hobbies consist of huffing anything they can get their hands on, blunt rolling, and watching a ton of crap television-(which i'm not opposed to, minus the drug use).

speaking of crap, my last day on rotation the closeted homo that DID get the job meandered into my housing unit and tried to instigate some sort of reaction out of me: "um, yeah...i've been told about your new position. what do you think about it? do you realize people are going to give you nothing but shit about it, seeing how you haven't been here very long?" my response--tough shit, bring it on, and yeah, i expect that. i added that if people would have just been doing their jobs like they had been told to-(for some CRAZY reason there are people who work with me that a) don't like kids, and b) think that the kids should sit and stew in their cells and not learn a damn thing)a position wouldn't have been created for me to complete the tasks they refuse to do. ultimately, if someone has enough of a ballsack to say something to me, i'll just thank them. hey, thank you for not doing your job. because of your condescending attitude, i now have a promotion-(of course i'll be beaming when i say this). for the record, i haven't given the guy who got the supervisor's position ANY congrats on his promotion. i don't want to. i think he's an asshole. and don't try to peg me as a homophobe. i'm queer myself. i can smell people from around the world that are in complete denial for their homodesires, and i find it annoying and disturbing when i encounter someone who is SO HOMOPHOBIC, yet SO FAGGY that they can't even see it. i can pray for his brother who's dying of cancer, but i can't give him any props, i just can't. i'll leave that up to other people and god. if i did TRY to do it, it would just sound fake and sticky with sarcasm. i'd rather reserve my energy for other things like.....


....cleaning up poo. yes, it has been a long time since i've had to clean anyone's shit besides my dog ladymutt's. during the night time routine on my last night on, one of the girls making a fuss about how the quiet room was smelling. i hadn't worked the girl's housing unit all rotation, and i'm pretty good about inspection. i like to validate the detainees, so we moved her bed to see what was there, and i assumed nothing would be there. wrong! like a present from santa, there was not one but two piles of hardened poo waiting patiently for me to pick them up with gloved hands. the girls sleeping in the quiet room screamed. i laughed until tears came from my eyes. i picked up the poo, flushed it in the toilet, and went about my business. i used my scooby doo skillz to figure out who might have done it. that quiet room was for girl use only, so it had to be one of them. i find it odd, because shitting in a room is such a 'boy' behavior. here are my theories: someone on another shift wasn't doing their job-(the girls are on camera), one of the girls had to take a dump, no one came to take her to the toilet, she thought 'fuck this shit', and took a dump. second theory: one of the girls thought, 'fuck juvie' and curled one under the bed. i'll be baffled by the poo mystery for years to come.

i'm currently reading wally lamb's "i know this much is true". i like it. i'm taking a break from my john irving goal-(i want to read his catalogue by dec. 31) to read this one because vin has been hounding me about it. i've listented to "she's come undone" on tape narrated by kathy njamy, and i liked that, so i figured what the hell. i was telling someone about the book, and they said, "oh yeah--Oprah really likes wally lamb". i really hate it that Oprah's opinion is more shiny than god's, and i respond with, "well i'm not reading it because Oprah said so". which i admit, was a bitchy response, but i'm SOOOOOO over Oprah. what would some of these writers, artists, etc. do without the precious seal of approval from lady "O"? eat spaghettios, i guess.

remember when Oprah was fat and black? she seems so plastic, a displaced souless soul--a ridiculously wealthy white woman trapped in the body of a black woman. except i don't even see color anymore. does she even know what color she is? i'm sad because she could be doing so much for people who really need her help, but she has her own magazine that talks about must have $500 boots. she's white. the green of money has altered her aura. i don't care if she has done nice stuff for some causes. she has enough money to do MORE. hell, i'm blacker than Oprah, and i wear SPF 35 year round to keep from getting burned.
**additional notes: okay, okay--i realize that there is some heavy controversy in what i said about Oprah. i'm not going to take it back, but i want to clarify some things. in spite of all the ranty things i write, i don't see the world in terms of race, sexual orientation, religion, and economic status. i see human beings. however, i live in a world that is so compartmentalized that i have no choice but to see things in that light. it's a a bad habit i'm trying to break. it would probably be more accurate if i said that i DON'T want to see things in terms of classification, i just want to see humanity. self-reflection is an ugly process. please don't hate me for it.

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